Greg Fischer surprised to learn that police officers can, in fact, be fired
Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer expressed profound shock earlier today that police officers could actually be fired from their jobs.
Talking to the Boondocks Gazette, Fischer said he assumed for most of his adult life that no one could actually fire police officers or hold them accountable for their actions because doing so was actually a crime.
“You mean police officers can get fired from their jobs for showing a callous disregard for human life? You’ve gotta be pulling my leg, buddy,” he said.
Fischer has been dodging questions and criticisms for weeks now over the killing of Breonna Taylor, a Louisville certified EMT who has shot and killed in her home by three Louisville Metro Police officers.
Demands from Taylor’s family and local organizations, such as Louisville Black Lives Matter, has called for the three officers involved in her death (Jon Mattingly, Myles Cosgrove and Brett Hankison) to be, at the bare minimum, fired from their jobs.
Fischer has previously said the officers couldn’t just be fired because uhhhhh hold on…ah, yes state law and also uhhhhhh the police union contract. Yeah that and also how just completely tied his hands are as the mayor of the largest city in Kentucky and how he desperately wishes there was something he could do.
Whenever he made these claims sweat would immediately begin pouring down his face in fear that people could see through his cleverly disguised ruse.
No one was more surprised than Fischer when he himself announced that Brett Hankison would be fired.
“Well I’ll be,” Fischer was heard by a reporter mumbling under his breath announcing the officer’s firing. “These guys can actually be fired, who could’ve guessed it?”
Additionally, Fischer was surprised when a reporter told him that, in theory, he and other Louisville council members actually had influence and control over the police department and could potentially make changes if their cowardice permitted.
As he was leaving the press conference announcing the officer’s termination, the Boondocks Gazette asked Fischer if the other officers would be fired or if Hankison would be charged with anything.
Fischer then turned around to the reporter to reveal his fingers were stuck in a Chinese finger trap.
“Sorry my hands, or uh fingers, are tied.”